Weight Loss, Work and Sleep

ok the weightloss, 7kgs down in about 8 weeks, not bad, really hard work, but not bad. I need to get my mindset right and realise this is a lifestyle change and not a season of eating better. I am doing this for myself, to get better and be healthier. I look at other people (first thing I am doing wrong) and think wow, they can eat whatever they want and it doesn't affect them in the slightest. I eat one thing wrong and boom there is another kilo on my stomach. Wrong attitude. Wrong mindset. I need this to change, going to the gym is becoming a habit and one that I am enjoying. It helps the mindset as well. So this is a big positive, however while I was hoping it would help me sleep better, it's not. I go to bed regular time every night, fall asleep easily, *bing* 2am I am wide awake, brain switched on an it won't shut up. Everything goes around and around, why did she say that, maybe I am not good enough, who does she want to replace me. Do you remember back in high school when.... what about the time you.... what the hell was I thinking when.... etc etc etc. My doctor has prescribed me melatonin tablets to try and help with the sleeping. She also suggested a 'worry' diary near my bed, so when I wake up, write everything going on in my head in the diary so it is out. Deal with it later. This is probably a good option for me.

So here is to a better sleep regime and less tiredness :)

Work, hmmm, well new person to be starting soon. Mariella leaving, not sure if this is a good or bad thing. Kathy once again mentioning that I am not consistent with the way I am expressing myself in the office. I think it is affected by my tiredness too. I need to put the staff first above my work. This is fine, but not sure about how it goes with not getting my work done. Yes I get flustered when I have a lot on my plate. Well I am not supposed to show this to the rest of the team. Interesting when today Kathy had something that she had to get done and she mentioned closing her door so she doesn't get interrupted. How is that different? I don't have a door I can close. Oh well, this is my burden to carry, another challenge to meet and defeat. I can do it. I need to not rely on Kathy and act as if she is not there even when she is. As she put it to me, I am not a fill in, this is my permanent role and I am being prepped to take over from her at some point.... I am thinking that they are looking at a specific timeline that has not been shared with me at this point.

OK so that is my blurt for today. See you soon
Sam